johanna7mason:

This will forever be my favorite photo.

oh, hello all my heroes in one shot. 

johanna7mason:

This will forever be my favorite photo.

oh, hello all my heroes in one shot. 

oh, i’m sorry, halcyonkitty. i didn’t realize you were magic.

oh, i’m sorry, halcyonkitty. i didn’t realize you were magic.

To the Board of South Fayette Township School District & to South Fayette Police Dept:

I’m not sure if y’all are aware of the news making it’s way around to the rest of us regarding the student who was bullied and charged for disorderly conduct. I hope you all are. 

I know there are two sides to every story. It would mean a great deal to hear from your POV what took place. Though I understand there are privacy issues in play, I still believe it is possible to provide some insight as there is a large justice component here as well that needs to be addressed.

I cannot imagine that any child, special needs or not, would be punished for providing evidence of bullying.

I want to understand how the primary focus regarding a suspected bullying case could be ‘what-should-we-charge-him-with’ instead of ‘how-do-we-address-what-was-heard-on-this-audio’…how Principal Milburn called upon the school district’s attorney for advice on how to handle this and how Lieutenant Kurta found that this child’s actions showed no legitimate purpose and warranted a charge of disorderly conduct. 

If the events that took place truly happened, his actions were absolutely legitimate in every sense, no matter what the audio held.

I’m sure y’all are tired of the influx of emails/comments from us outsiders, but please understand that as a community/society/people, it is our responsibility to follow up on matters like this and speak. 

'…For the ones amendments do not stand up for. For the ones who are forgotten. For the ones who are told to speak only when you are spoken to and then are never spoken to. Speak every time you stand so you do not forget yourself.' - Anis Mojgani 

I really hope y’all respond or provide a statement that gives some… clarity (& not just ‘we cannot speak on this matter, but rest assured, it is being addressed’). Thanks for your time.

— sarah tran.

[here are the emails of school board members & police involved. no intention here of harrassing these individuals. but - in case y’all wanted to just ask for more information: 

lfornella@southfayette.org,tburroughs@southfayette.org,wnewcomer@southfayette.org,fmorelli@southfayette.org, aczaplicki@southfayette.org, tpetrillo@southfayette.org, pbrinsky@southfayette.org, jiriti@southfayette.org,cgeisler@southfayette.org,rkurta@sftwp.com,lvolle@sftwp.com]

update: mamabear post-surgery.

um… thank you.

::shrugs:: i’ve… never been the best at talkin’ like a human

expressing myself in coherent ways

not sounding like… ‘a crazy’, as they say… & i type just like i talk (hence the abundance of ellipses that really are just there to annoy the literate & to provide little dots as fillers for my lack of language)

…wait what was i saying? oh, yea. 

thank you.

thank you, God. ::sigh:: my goodness. thank you, sweet sweet God.

thank you, surgeons.

thank you, beautiful & terrible world.

thank y’all for… talkin’ to God on our behalf… for the messages sent… for… everything.

completely humbled. & as a viet girl raised by super viet parentals… i am SO… i just… i feel so much gratitude that it… sickens me. i’m nauseated, really, at the thought of ‘how the hell am i gonna ever repay these humans for covering the trans in such… sweet love’ … ugh. y’all.

anyway. update.

surgery went well. as well as we could have hoped, actually.

not only were they doing bilateral mastectomies, but also lymph node dissection to check for positive nodes.

(lymph nodes are like… chains of… immune houses throughout your body – little collections of your fighter cells that filter out infections, cancer cells, etc. so for cancer, they check the lymph nodes to see if there’s spread)

if positive – mom would need chemo.

& here’s a moment i’ll never forget feat. the OIL (ones i love. #copyrightedjustnow  #dontyoutakeit  #stop  #giveitback) 

  • dr. lugo, kind kind surgeon, comes out to the waiting area, where i’m sitting w/ my best friends, & says – ‘lymph node negative’
  • i… don’t really remember my reaction. maybe my eyes started leaking. i’m not sure. i’m super tough, y’all. i just… have allergies.
  • but – i’ll never forget turning around & seeing my theresie & habby… crying. tears of joy running down their cheeks.
  • i just… how did i get so lucky. ::shrugs:: some kinda fluke in friend distribution there. such. incredible. love.

image

[pictured: theresie was up late the night b4, working out the recipe of some-a my fave cookies. / lobster rolls from my habby for everyone / black iced coffee. mmM / anniemal snacks from starbucks]

no chemo. okay. he’s 99% sure. still sending to pathology - but he said 99%. i’ll take that.

3 hours later – dr. echo, plastic surgeon, comes out to say it’s done & mom’s doing okay. okay. ::breathes:: okay.

more OIL moments:

  • annie ma – my anniemal. friend since high school (but we went diff ways after that) – texts me asking where i am. mama heads off to surgery & out in the waiting room is… my anniema. standin’ there w/ her cutie face & arms wide open <3
  • flowers being delivered to mamabear in the waiting room from my achoo (in new york) & leesavo.
  • my cimela goin’ to walk finn for me bc i forgot he existed on accidenté
  • cousin thuybird, md anderson nurse, comes off her night shift at like 7am. goes home for unhealthily short nap. comes back with fried chicken & 50+ pictures she spreads all over the waiting area floor image
  • my theresie staying with me until she knew mom’s surgery was over…baby A just a-chillin’ like the cutiest of villains. habby & thuybird stayin’ til the very last sec b4 they hadda fight traffic & head to work. image
  • hahA this is thuybird’s mama (my mom’s older sister). mom’s #bffl. she’s known for sometimes being (how do i say this)… scary-as-f*. but she loves her baby sis. she just… is incapable of sounding like she does. as she brushes mom’s hair — [mom]: thank you / [aunt]: i mean… i don’t really have a choice. look at how stupid your hair is. #SisterLove  image
  • & then this dashing fella came into the room to mack on my mom… #papatran image
  • lastly. one-a my laugh-out-loud moments of yday. dad’s spending the night. & i worked the next day… so i needed to get outta there & drop off mom’s Rx, set up her ipad, clear crap from her bed at home. anyway. i’m like

me: okay. i’m gonna go. you have food. linens. blankets & pillows are here. press button for pain. okay. are y’all okay?

::both parentals roll their eyes & say something like - ‘YES. yes. of course. oh gah. come on. we got it. just go’:::

::dad puts a piece-a chicken in this::

dad: how do you work this microwave?!

image

me: oh my — HAHA. dad. that’s a safe. oh gah…are y’all gonna be okay!?

really, though. y’all have sent so much love to my fam. random messages. well wishes. prayers. words of encouragement. shared curse words ;)  tweets. everything. not sure y’all know how much this has all meant to me. how much brighter the day is bc of you guys.

really i just… ::sigh:: i don’t know. God, you make beautiful things. & i have no words for them. 

… thank you. 

& i leave y’all my favorite racist praise lyrics ;)

my eyes are small but they have seen

the beauty of enormous things

which leads me to believe… you make everything glorious

& i am yours… so what does that make me.

*almost forgot. special thanks to my ash, achoo, cimela, donna, seunie, theresie, habby, thuy. y’all have heard me at my very worst. broken &… terrible. y’all called. came to me. cried w/ me. cursed w/ me. y’all know the dark places i tend to go to… & y’all walk right w/ me. thank you so much.

mamabear. look at her. what a betty. /start time 9:30am.  :::deep breath::: #alrightGod

mamabear. look at her. what a betty. /start time 9:30am. :::deep breath::: #alrightGod

i… honestly don’t know where to start.

i haven’t known where to start now since 3/14/2014.

day b4 my cousin thuybird’s wedding. my very #bffl, one-a my favorite humans i selfishly am sure God made with me in mind.

so, lemme run y’all through what happened. she was getting married to the love of her life in the bay area (cali), but my program director had recently sent out an email about… unprofessional behaviors, leaving a rotation early even though your attending doesn’t care (aside: even though THEY sometimes leave early or end the day early). ::shrugs:: i won’t even get into how disheartening 2nd year of residency has been. how many x’s ive felt so… little.

but, anyway – bc of that… i of course rescheduled my flight out, the only one left having me land at 10:30PM the night b4 her wedding. aside: im MoH.

so, that whole week was sleeplessness & just… getting ready.

i get home from work, delirious & sleepless, & start frantically a-packing, when i get a phone call from mamabear.

[in vietnamese]

mamabear: ‘sarah. i have it.’

me: ‘what?’

mamabear: ‘the biopsy came back. invasive ductal breast cancer’

:::whoooosh::: … & just like that, i had the wind knocked out of me.

me: ‘what?’

mamabear: ::crying:: ‘okay. i have the radiologist’s #. do you want to talk to her?’

me: ‘yes.’

after explaining the results to me, i called back mama to explain all i understood. prognosis good. surgery. radiation.

mom’s in tears. of course. my precious mama. kindest, gentlest, best. soul. ever. fucking. made.

anyway – she’s like ‘go pack’ & i’m like okay. so – i frantically run around. mass text my best friends (sans thuybird, since it’s her wedding, this is my mama = her 2nd mom. no need to have that in her head). & i try to pack. & then mid-running i stop. cry. call my ash to ask her to pray w/ me. cry again. shake my head back & forth in vain hopes of clearing this information. & pack.

:::jump fwd to now:::

mom’s surgery was supposed to be last thursday. supposed to be. why?! bc, friday, the mri found another spot.

sum-up of what happens now:

-        initially 1 lump —> lumpectomy (removal of a small portion of the breast)

-        2 spots —> multi-focal —> mastectomy (removal of the whole breast) – why? b/c if it’s in 2 spots, it may possibly be in more. so, now plastic surgery needs to get on board bc she needs reconstruction (to start it) at the same time.

-        so, not that that’s not heartbreaking enough – to find out you now lose your breast — but now they recommend bilateral mastectomies (removing both breasts).

-        why?! yes. why the f* does my mama have to take out… everything

  • b/c the risk of breast cancer is the same in both breasts —> already developed in 1 —> may develop in the other in the future.
  • why not worry about it then? bc that’s another surgery she has to go through, & b/c she has to go through breast reconstruction w/ plastic surgery now, it’s easier to reconstruct both to match if you do it from the get go.
  • but the biggest reason is b/c – holy f*. this has been the most devastating 2-3 weeks for mamabear. if she had to go through all this again — finding a spot, the pain of biopsies, the pain of diagnosis, finding out she needs to ultimately go through another surgery w/ recovery… ::sigh:: the ‘best’ option right now is removing both breasts.

sum-up again (for the poorly attentive & those who just cannot endure through my ramblings (understandable)):

-        from 3/14/14 to 4/2/14

  • mom has gone from 1 spot +cancer —> surgery for lumpectomy scheduled
  • mri pre-surgery finds 2nd spot —> lose 1 breast —> lose both breasts

-        this is a little over 2 weeks, y’all.

so, let me just… say this much.

i’ve gone through the sh*ttiest versions of myself since finding out.

me & God… we’ve known each other for a long time. i’ve experienced many miracles in my lifetime to doubt His existence, but as i grew older… i have learned diff ways of thinking of Him. Him & us. Him with us.

i fall along the same line of thought as my hero john green.

john green – author of the fault in our stars (& countless other works as well as my personal fave – vlogbrothers youtube channel) – wanted to be a minister until he worked as a chaplain in a hospital & saw children suffer & die.

i, like him, am not okay with the traditional church ‘answers’ for why humans suffer… why some suffer so much & why some not so much. i… refuse to believe there has to be a ‘reason’ for all this. as if there’s some acceptable justification for watching the ones you love suffer & die.

& to those who scream “HERETIC!” at me, i respectfully say… calmaté. this is an adult conversation for those who love God & know it’s okay to be of free-thought. to use the mind God gave you. join us or shutthefuckup.

see, i actually (still do) believe in a kind, loving, good God. someone who doesn’t just let humans suffer because ‘oh what a great lesson this’ll be’. how… cruel. 

no. sh*tty things happen to the best & the worst. & i don’t know why. we live & learn & cry & fall to the ground… & we get up again. if we can.

but it’s times like these. times where i’m so heartbroken. where i’ll play my favorite praise songs… just to immediately shut it off & say no. why, God. we had a deal. i have nothing to say to you right now, Lord. we had a deal.

-        we really did. i was never the most normal of baby humans growing up, & i swear. every night i prayed – please don’t let anything happen to my parents. if something has to happen – do it to me.

-        you grow up & realize what a selfish prayer. but who cares. we had a deal, God. i’m not gonna sit through this.    

it’s times like these where i… just… i’m like – God, why. she’s… precious. she’s the best. what a purely generous & kind soul. she has suffered daily. a laborer in a thankless job that she’s been working in for decades, where she gets yelled at, belittled for ‘lack’ of education, told she could be replaced by computer programs, continually moved around different positions to whatev they have only to be told she’s lucky she’s even being allowed to work (hey, assholes. she came during a war. she lost everything, learned a new trade & a language, while working in assembly lines & such to pay for housing, etc. she didn’t get to go to school. give me your names & addresses, you pieces of sh—)  :::eeellch:: :::insert where my mamabear, kindest human ever, grabs me by my face & says no NO::: & insert papabear praying for my soul:::

it’s times like this where i can’t help but feel how… far God is.

-        & then, outta the blue – outta ‘nowhere’ – i get a msg from a friend, emily tucker, from high school. high school? jr high?

-        someone i hadn’t seen since my awkward fetus days…

-        & she sent me this (without knowing anything goin’ on) bc it reminded her of me.

Project Prayer Box

-        & i wept. 

it’s strange… the diff ways He tells me ‘hey. kid. i love you.’

same, lord.

but, what about our deal? ::sigh::    #AndYetIHope

i will lift my eyes in the darkest night, for i know my savior lives…

i can sing in the troubled times / sing when i win / i can sing when i lose my step & i fall down again 

i can sing… w/ my last breat—  

::deep breath::

Lets make this girl the most reblogged picture on tumblr

lolsofunny:

image

if this isn’t on your blog i think i’m going to have a problem with you.

I don’t think most of you know, but this girl has, or had, a tumblr. She was getting anon hate of being accused that she didn’t have cancer because she had hair in her photo. Thus, getting her to make this gif. See that fake smile? Can you see how firmly she’s holding everything in? Wow, I know.

I don’t care what blog type you have. Reblog this.

'unsung hero' - thai life insurance commercial. love so much.

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things. - Frank A. Clark

you make everything glorious, &amp; I am yours… so, what does that make me #ecclesia

you make everything glorious, & I am yours… so, what does that make me #ecclesia

unpopular opinion: the holy trinity & joan rivers.

in the words of my hero, grace helbig: ‘i don’t know

joan rivers. 80 yo comedian. it’s nice that she’s… being true to herself & unapologetic. i guess ? but… no. 

  • most recently called north west ugly & needed waxing at 7 months old
  • went on howard stern & made fun of lena dunham’s weight, saying she’s sending the wrong image for wearing dresses above the knee. actual quote: 'You are sending a message out to people saying, 'It's okay. Stay fat. Get diabetes. Everybody die, lose your fingers.’ 
  • dissed jennifer lawrence for being ‘arrogant’
  • made fun of adele for being fat

i don’t know. good on them for whatev they are doing. adore the holy trinity of comedy. i trust their hearts. & i don’t know joan rivers. so who am i to judge. but - that’s… what she does & unapologetically so. saying hurtful things…is just… not something i can get on board w/